BROS

Friday, November 12, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 16TH

[X] Leave

These guys are total fucking loonies. If you stick around, bad things will happen. It'll all end in tears, you know it. Best just to make like a tree and get the fuck out of here. You duck under the arms of a beefy man who is attempting to tape a fire ax to his shotgun, and mumble something resembling an apology.

"Gotta, stove on. Bye, okay." You announce, before calmly walking out the door and SPRINTING AS FAST AS YOU CAN FOR THE NEAREST BUILDING. You make it to the nearby DUNGEONS AND VALUES nerd-store. Ah, finally, something relaxing. It seems that you are alone, for the time being. Only a single zombie is making teeth-filled kissyfaces at the door. Probably more will join him, but you should be out of here by the time that happens. Now then. You are by all accounts a nerd, in an abandoned nerd boutique. There is practically everything you could have ever wanted. Too much to list. Mangos, animus, videya gaems, tabletop game die-casts, rulebooks, figurines, trading cards, random merchandise. You start to drool.

"MOTHER OF MOE"

THEY HAVE THE NEW NEVER-BEFORE-RELEASED MAIDO MISAKO TOASTER COZY. THEY WERE SOLD OUT IN JAPAN! You make for it, and as soon as your fingers touch it, you hear a huge crash in the back room.

"WEREN'T DOIN NOTHIN!" you yell, turning around as quickly and nonchalantly as possible, given the circumstances. More sounds of rummaging from the back room. Maybe you're not alone in here after all.  Hmm...


[]Go check out the back room
[]TIME FOR LOOTAN!
[]Run screaming like a tiny baby man out of the store
[]Genuflect


[X]Genuflect

You fall to your knees before the dead man.

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU FAINT TO DEATH! FORGIVE MY HORRIFYING RUSE, IT WAS MERELY LIES AND CHARLATANRY!" 

The zombie opens an eye and stands back up. Your eyes bulge out from your head.

"You're not a zo-"

"ZOMBIE!" you scream, and hit him in the head with a handful of magazines.

He screams and grabs the nearest object, a deadly deadly lampshade.

****

One completely pointless and largely embarrassing fight later, you have come to the begrudged conclusion that neither of you are probably zombies. 

"So, um... welcome, I guess. We're going to escape in this bus." You pat the bus congenially. The strange man nods feverishly.

"Okay, uh, when are you leaving?"

"At 1. So, in about an hour." 

"We need to leave NOW! I just came from the graveyard. You're not going to believe what just happened."
You somewhat doubt that. Probably involves zombies. You like to think you're pretty jaded in respect to this whole outbreak. There's no way anything he says is going to jar you.

So he tells you.

And it does.

"So, you're telling me somebody was CONTROLLING them?"

"Yeah. That MAN IN THE BLACK COAT."

"... Why did you say it like that?"

"Say what like what?"

"You just... Never mind." 

He stops and toys with his DSi for a bit.

"So, what should we do, then? Go now, or wait?"

[]Leave now
[]Check F.O.R.T.U.N.E.
[] Wait until one
[]Genuflect

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Vote

Also, vote on the Jimmy Nikola post down there. It's all tied up.

NEWVEMBER

Hello, true believers. I suppose I should say True Believer, since it seems only one person bothered to stick with it. Sad news, although I'm sure it will be taken rather ambivalently. I've decided to end Newvember.

As it is, nobody is following Newvember, with barely anybody even making a token effort. Over 5 days, only 6 people even voted on whether or not they were following, or attempting to follow, Newvember, out of 113 (It was 114, apparently somebody unsubscribed). This was an attempt to make something neat, to make a month where people could try their best to improve themselves. I suppose I was too ambitious in that respect. I must have  requested  more from my audience than they were capable of. Clearly, I asked too much. For this, I sincerely apologize. Maybe I'll have better luck some other time, although I highly doubt it. 

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 9: CLEANING THE TOYS IN THE ATTIC

Welcome once again, True Believers, to another edition of Newvember? How are things going? It seems a lot of people are deciding to quit, which is discouraging. I appreciate any feedback about Newvember, as I am sort of winging it. Are the challenges too hard? Is there too much to deal with? It seems a reasonable amount to assign, but perhaps I am biased. In either case, today's challenge deals with clearing out those stuffy thoughts.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS:
PRACTICE GOOD MENTAL HYGIENE



What is good mental hygiene?  Simply put, it is the practice of avoiding negative thoughts, paranoia, fatalism, and other such mind-killers which prevent you from living to your fullest potential. There is, as usual, a guide, although the guide is overflowing with examples. Keep in mind, Newvember is mostly an exercise for you. I don't expect you to do everything I tell you to a tee. The most important thing is making an effort, even if you don't live up to the full challenge. There aren't any modes today, it's all just a matter of how badly you want to improve.


As usual, comment, please.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Newvember Day 8: WAX ON, WAX OFF

Looks like I didn't set the auto-publish right on this one. So, here it is now.

Welcome once again, True Believers! Today marks the beginning of a new week of Newvembering! Today is one of the most important days, and that day is the day of practice!


TODAY'S CHALLENGE:
PRACTICE WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED



Practice is extremely important. Practice nails in the tenets of action, practice hones your body and mind. Mondays are a day to practice the hobbies you have taken up, study culture further, practice your meditation more, try a bit of small-talk, perhaps. Don't forget to keep regular on your exercise, as well. Today is a day to drill into your mind and body what you have already accomplished, before we begin more. 

Keep strong, True Believers! As always, comment. 


Sunday, November 7, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 7: YUKKURI TAKE IT EASY

Welcome back, True Believers! If you have been keeping up, congratulations, you have made it through the first week! If you have maybe slipped a bit, don't fret, just get back on the horse and continue. Today's challenge illustrates the importance of not overexerting yourself.


TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS:
PRACTICE MEDITATION

It is important to give it your all, but if you work at 100% constantly, you will burn out, and will progressively get sloppier and more tired in your actions. It's important to take some time for yourself as well. Meditation is an excellent way to Take it Easy. Breathing meditation is one of the easiest methods of meditation, and it only takes a few minutes out of your day. There are more disciplined kinds of meditation, like Zen Meditation, but since this is the day of rest, there is no need to go so far unless you are serious about improvement.

Here is a simple guide on breathing meditation:

And a guide on Zen Meditation:

For those of you who enjoy music while meditating, here is a collection of suitable songs, complete with RainyMood accompaniment:

Easy Mode: Take it Easy
Casual Mode: Yukkuri Take it Easy
Normal Mode: Practice Breathing Meditation
Hardcore Mode: Practice some other type of meditation
Nightmare Mode: Practice Zazen

As usual, comment. Till next time, True Believers!

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECT

[X] Genuflect

You fall to your knees.

"I'm sorry, Roman! I cannot handle the majesty of your rough and tumble bunch! I am just a spineless nobody who ain't worth nohow anyhow! Please spare my life!"

Roman erupts into flames at your prostration.

"YOU DARE TO SPEAK SUCH THINGS TO ME?! I WILL SHOW YOU THE TRUTH BEHIND ROUGH AND TUMBLE METHODOLOGY! BEHOLD, THE TUMBLETRON 2000!"

The wall behind you explodes outwards, and motorcycle with monster truck wheels squeals to a halt in the store. David Hasselhoff dismounts from the bike,  taking off his sunglasses to reveal another, smaller pair of sunglasses underneath.

"Did somebody ask for a life lesson?" He demands.

Roman pushes you towards the Hoff, who Hassels you up and down before strapping you to the back of the bike.

"LESSON ONE: DON'T BE A BUSTA!" He activates the turbo-boosters, and you are launched off the nearest ramp into low earth orbit. You die of asphyxiation and shock.

YOU HAVE DIED.

Retry? 

[] Go hide in a corner
[] Inquire about armaments
[] Leave
[] Try to make small talk