BROS

Friday, October 15, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 11TH GENUFLECTION

[X] Swing wildly, hoping to kill the zombies

"Oh SHIT!" You scream, swinging the blade around in a wide arc. By some sort of devil's luck, you actually hit a zombie, square in the chest. Frost starts to spread in midair, taking on a zombie-shape before the shape shatters into very visible bloody chunks.

"Okay... I can do this..."


You grip your sword in both hands and start to spin wildly down the corridor.

"DEMACIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" You scream, spinning with the fury of a thousand tops.

The rest of the Ghosts move easily out of your way, climbing onto the ceiling above you, although you are oblivious to this. You move almost the entire length of the hallway in said roundabout  manner before predictably becoming very dizzy.

"Oof." You brace your knees for support, trying your best not to throw up.

"That was a bad choice..."

The Ghosts agree with you, which they demonstrate by leaping onto your back and pinning you to the ground.

"OH GOD, I'M BEING RAPED!" you scream, as the zombies sink their claws into your weak nerd flesh.

You close your eyes and pray for a swift death. A swift death is not to come, however, as a thrown stapler halts their assault.

"Hey, you punks! Over here!"

You open your eyes and look in the direction of the screamer, in time to see a middle-aged man run down a corridor. The weight is lifted off your back as the zombie on top of you chases after him, flashing blue and fading out of visibility as it goes. You quickly stand up, coming face to face with the other zombie. It hisses at you, and you slice it's head in half with your sword.

"That hurt, you piss ass fuck." you say, trying to be tough. Your shoulders are currently searing with pain.

What should you do?

[]Go help the man.
[]Continue towards the exit, and out to the mall.
[]Try to find some sort of first aid for your wounds.
[]Genuflect

MEANWHILE: 

"Alright, we'll hit the mall from this angle. The doors here are already compromised, so we can blow this out with one of Chuck's grenades." The leader of the raiding party explains.

"Yeah, I still don't get where Chuck got grenades from," pipes up a scrawny, somewhat mousy guy with

"They are war heirlooms. They are completely legal for me to possess for their historical merit." Chuck says matter-of-factly.

"Who cares about legality? It's the end of the fucking world, we're about to go loot a god-damn mall."

"We are not LOOTING. We are obtaining supplies for our survival and the survival of others. This is a completely justified action." The leader says, tapping the map of the mall with his knife.

"Sounds like looting to me, Roman."

Roman sighs, idly picking the soft wood top of the picnic table with the tip of his knife.

"Can we just focus on the plan please? Death looms over the unprepared. Never be unprepared!"


SECOND OPTION SET (Pick one of these as well)
[] Be the tough guy
[] Be the brainy guy
[] Be the soldier
[] Be the girl
[] Be the DJ
[] Be the Pokemon Master

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 10TH GENUFLECTION (Part 2)

MEANWHILE...


The darkness of the building hovers all around you, held at bay only by the faint glow of your sword. From what you have seen, it appears to be some sort of office building. You've peeked into quite a few offices. Some are perfectly tidy, and you seem to recall that there will likely be many infected people calling in sick before the zombie outbreak starts. That happens a lot in movies. These pristine offices are almost as unnerving as the ones with furniture in disarray and blood splatters everywhere. The juxtaposition paints a grim before-and-after image.

Perhaps even MORE unnerving than the remnants of slaughter, are the missing pieces of said remnants. Case in point, there are no bodies, inanimate or otherwise, anywhere to be seen. The arm you had seen from the entrance was just a mannequin arm, and your repeated attacks (with sobbing as extra bonus damage), had swiftly dispatched it before it had time to become some sort of crazy Silent Hill mannequin monster beast.

With no easily-dispatched zombies waiting for you, the illusion that this is merely some game is beginning to wear off, and real fear is setting in once more. You can't find the exit. Where is the exit? Out of the corner of your eye, you see a blue light down the hallway. Is it an exit sign? You dash in that direction, coming to a dead stop in front of a dead end. Stairs lead up to your left, but no door to be seen. No lights either. There is no exit here, THEN WHO WAS LIGHT? Agh. You're creeping yourself out. This building is empty, the zombies have probably just gone out onto the street to find more prey. Gotta get  a hold of yourself. Gotta calm down. Let's browse some F.O.R.T.U.N.E. See if we can't find any animus or something a little calmer.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 10TH GENUFLECTION

[X] Go through a building

"Well... the street is blocked off here. I could walk back and try to find a way around it, or I could just walk through this building and go out the side-door..."

You scrutinize the dimly lit corridor of the building through the broken glass in the door-frame. You carefully scribe into your mind the patterns of the splashes of blood on the walls and the floor. You make a mental note of the limp and splotchy arm lying half-in, half-out of a doorway. Hmm.
Now to compare. You turn around and look at the street behind you. There is a dead zombie (double-dead, not just dead dead, which is the usual state for zombies) and a bunch of assorted trash.

"Yeah, I'll just turn around." 

So saying, you turn and start to head back the way you came, when suddenly a zombie clown rounds the corner, honking its way towards victory. It pauses in its merry undead shuffle and looks directly at you.

"Oh god, clown zombies? You have to be ki-" 
Another clown zombie rounds the corner, bumping into the first one. A third joins them, and then a huge, lumbering zombie bear in a top hat rounds the corner as well, snarling and puffing on a comically large pipe.

"NOPE."
You turn and run into the dark and foreboding building. 

Monday, October 11, 2010

TRAIN YOUR ⑨ IN MINUTES A DAY.

Jimmy Nikola's votes are all tied up, and the next post is gonna be a long one. In the meantime, enjoy this game.
The game is "Cirno Training" and it is at first glance a simple math game. The trick to it, however, comes from the fact that Cirno, of Touhou fame, is an idiot.

The game itself is simple. You will be given a simple addition of two numbers, and two answers to choose from. Answer INCORRECTLY, unless the answer is ⑨.

You get points based on how quickly you answered, up to 5 per question, and it continues to get faster and faster, necessitating faster answer times. My personal record is 287. How far can you get?



THE NEXT BEST THING SINCE CANNED BREAD!

Hey there folks. No adventuring post quite yet, I think I'm gonna leave it open to hopefully get a few more votes on the next course of action. No, this post is instead about something very important.


As I was checking out fellow bloggers blogs, I stumbled upon a rather... interesting ad.

The ad in question, I thought, was a joke, or perhaps worded humorously, and so I clicked it. Imagine my glee when I discovered that it was not a joke, and it was an accurate description of the items being sold on the site.

Imagine the wave of joy and passion that swept through my quivering nerd body as my eyes met that site. Finally, after so much searching and questing, I had found the holiest of holy grails.


CANNED AIR


Sunday, October 10, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 9TH GENUFLECTION

[X] Mourn the loss of your body pillow.

Poor, poor Maido Misako. She was taken before her time. You will never forget the way she kept you warm at night ;_;.  You pick a flower from a small patch of dirt on the sidewalk and toss it onto her torn, slightly stained maido face. You reflect in a moment of silence, staring in the direction of the sun, lamenting the fact that it is not sunset, because damn, that would be perfect.




IN MEMORIAM:
MAIDO MISAKO (PILLOW EDITION)
20X0 - 20X0




Now that that is settled, you suck up your tears and wonder what to do next. Is it even worth it? You sob into your PINA COLACOLYPSE, lamenting the death of your beloved waifu pillow, lamenting the cruelty of the world, and lamenting that you are not drowning your sorrows with something a bit more somber. Senor Pina, the rad sunglass-wearing pineapple mocks you with his extreme visage.


"Go away, fruit. I want to be alone." You toss the empty can into a dumpster.

Okay, enough melodrama. Let's figure out what to do now.


You drag yourself to your feet and continue on towards the mall. You decide to multi-task, and open F.O.R.T.U.N.E while you are walking.

/ {a} {b} {v} {x} {co} {tg} {ck} {k} {fit} {beta} {jp} /

F.O.R.T.U.N.E.
{X} - GOASTS

Tesla!CoilpuFjLo   Fri, Oct 1 20X0 11:09 Post. 5961352

Zombies just ate my Maido Misako pillow. My poor waifu ;_; She didn't deserve that. Anybody else lose something or somebody very important to them? Also, I saw an orange zombie. It was crazy fast. A lot faster than normal zombies, or even normal people. It was like the Vin Diesel of zombies or something. Anybody else seen one of those? 



ResidentZombologist!bR4INS63rM Fri, Oct 1 20X0 11:10 Post. 5961358

Your pillow? That's uh... okay. Anyways, the orange ones, yeah. Okay, so those guys are very fast, and they can climb pretty well too. They  are called "Blitzers." That's the name I have given them, yes. They move extremely quickly, and are very aggressive. They aren't that smart though, they seem to rely more on sight than anything else.

There is the regular zombie, which is slow, hard to kill (although you don't have to only attack the head. It seems like if you do enough damage to their organs, they go down as well. They are just very resilient, is all.) and incredibly strong. On their own, they are not hard to dispatch or avoid, but in groups, they are a moving wall of death, and are capable of frenzy once blood has been spilled.

Other Strange zombies exist, and they all seem to have a color aura, which is odd. There are purple zombies, who can stretch their arms out like some sort of tentacle/grappling hook batman zombie thing. I have more information on other zombies, but I can't post it at the moment, I have to get moving. They've broken through my first barricade and I must abscond to higher ground. I shall return, friends.

Interesting. You bookmark the thread to check later. For now... oh my...

The road ahead is blocked by a huge 20-car pileup. If you want to get through, you are going to have to either backtrack and find a different street, or head through one of the buildings next to you. 

Hmm...

[]Turn around and find another cross-street.
[]Go through a building
[]Try to climb through the wreckage
[]Genuflect