BROS

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 17TH

[X] GET TO LOOTAN!

Oh man. You feel like a kid in a candy shop. I guess not so excited. You feel like a nerd in a nerd shop. That's exactly what you are, so the feeling is understandable. The excitement is almost palatable. You greedily snatch up a few things and jam them into your inventory. Your backpack is starting to get full, so on second thought, it would be best to probably only grab the things you need. But, actually, what do you need? You can think of things which would be practical, but there aren't many in this shop.

You suppose you could grab one of their cheap replica swords, but when it comes to Enhancing, you haven't a clue what would be effective. You look among the shelves. A warhammer model? You're not sure you can handle that much dakka. Maybe a rulebook? D&D Fourth Edition? Nope.avi. How about some dice? That seems like it could be okay, or absolutely terrible. Magic Cards... well, you were never that good at card games anyways.

You catch a sudden blur of motion out of the corner of your eye. You half-spin clumsily backwards, reaching for your sword, which is caught on your jacket. You attempt to make the gesture as threatening as possible, doing a kind of thrust with your left hip, which swings the blade a few inches. A man with shifty eyes and a long trenchcoat stands before you, holding his hands up in a gesture of non-aggression.

"Calm down sir, I am most certainly alive, yes?" He explains, in an accent which sounds vaguely european/middle-eastern/asian/irish/southern. Definitely one of those, you reason. He doesn't seem to be a threat at any rate, so you put your sword away. Well, a few more inches away. You'll have to work on drawing it.

"Who are you?" You ask.

He gives you a little bow, with a grandiose circular motion of his hand.

"Sneaky Pete, at your service, yes? I am a traveling salesman of merchandise of all shape and manner. You are most fortunate to have survived this ordeal, yes? You are rewarded with grand savings! Congratulations!"

You blink at him. He does not blink at all.

"Okay. Uh..." You're not sure if you can really loot with someone watching you. It feels like he's definitely judging you. This is your take on the situation, up until he starts sweeping armfuls of merchandise into a sack.

"Hey, what are you doing?! That's looting!" You hypocritize. He looks at you and smiles, before shoving more goods into the sack.

"No, no, it's okay. I own this shop. This is my shop, yes?"

"Yeah right! You think I'm gonna fall for that?"

Sneaky Pete smiles and holds up a piece of paper for your inspection. You take a peek. It's a rather official-looking deed. "DEED OF SALE - THIS BUSINESS HEREBY IS UNDER OWNERSHIP OF..."

The name is then crossed out rather severely in black ink, and "SNEAKY PETE" is written above it.

"..."

"You see? Clearly, I am the owner of the store, yes?"

"Sure. Okay. Sure." There's not much point in arguing with him.

"So, you are a customer, yes?" He asks. You don't have much money on you. Maybe 100 bucks total.

"I, uh. I guess so." you state blankly. 

"Well, take a look at my wares!"

....


To be continued... Big part coming in. Lots of work I gotta do to prep for it. Sorry for the delays.

3 comments:

  1. I got some bad vibes coming from Sneaky Pete, bro.
    Bad vibes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I find this offense to european/middle-eastern/asian/irish/southern-speaking people.

    ReplyDelete