You fall to your knees.
"I'm sorry, Roman! I cannot handle the majesty of your rough and tumble bunch! I am just a spineless nobody who ain't worth nohow anyhow! Please spare my life!"
Roman erupts into flames at your prostration.
"YOU DARE TO SPEAK SUCH THINGS TO ME?! I WILL SHOW YOU THE TRUTH BEHIND ROUGH AND TUMBLE METHODOLOGY! BEHOLD, THE TUMBLETRON 2000!"
The wall behind you explodes outwards, and motorcycle with monster truck wheels squeals to a halt in the store. David Hasselhoff dismounts from the bike, taking off his sunglasses to reveal another, smaller pair of sunglasses underneath.
"Did somebody ask for a life lesson?" He demands.
Roman pushes you towards the Hoff, who Hassels you up and down before strapping you to the back of the bike.
"LESSON ONE: DON'T BE A BUSTA!" He activates the turbo-boosters, and you are launched off the nearest ramp into low earth orbit. You die of asphyxiation and shock.
YOU HAVE DIED.
 Go hide in a corner
 Inquire about armaments
 Try to make small talk