BROS

Monday, November 29, 2010

WARHAMMER 40K-ON PART 2

WARHAMMER 40K-ON: DAWN OF MOE: KAWAII ASSAULT
A fanfic by MidniteLulz

Team Ho-Goku Teatime was coming back from their battle. They had killed all the orkz and the universe was safe again. IT was safe except for the other bad guys, the Chaos. They were people who were overtaken by the warp, and were evil now. The girls went to the commander, Commisar Sawako, and saluted.

"Mission complete, Commisar" they said, and grinned  asmile. 

"Good job, girls, said Sawako, but you have to defeat Chaos too. We have some help for you, you should go meet him.

"Okay."

They walked up to the punch bowl where there was an ultramarine getting drinks. There they saw a boy with a black hair and golden eyes. He was wearing a long cape that was black with gold trim and he had also a trencoat that was black. He had a katana on his back, that was 10 feet long.

"Wow." said Yui "The Rock" Johson. 'that guy looks pretty cool' she though.

"Oh my, these sausages are wrapped in bacon" says Mugi "The Rock" Moogster.

"Yui, what are you look-oh wow." said Ritsu "The Rock" Ritzy.

"THESE SAUSAGES ARE FUCKING DELICIOUS" said Mugi.

"H-hi... what's your name?" said asked yui to the guy.

"Hello. My name is Prince Martine "Darth Starkiller" Maxime. I'm the emperor's sun, but don't tell anybody. It's a secret. I'm a secret prince. You can call me "Prince".

"Nice to meet you, Prince. My name is Yui, but you can call me "The Rock."

"Okay, Yui." said Prince.

Suddenly, the alarm went off. "Oh no, we are attacked by demons said Sawako, pulling out a gun.

"don't worry I got it" said prince, and he flew off to the demons. There were 10 big demons all the size of giant demons, and the roared and started eating marines. Then Prince took out his sword and killed them in one swing of his katana.

"Nice try, demon." said Prince as he killed them.

"Wow." said Mio "The Rock" Mugi.

To be continue.

Friday, November 26, 2010

WARHAMMER 40K-ON Part 1

WARHAMMER 40K-ON: DAWN OF MOE
A fanfic by MidniteLulz

Once upon a time, there was a continget of space marines. This contigent was called "Ho-Goku Tea Time" and they were the strongest space marines in the world. They used the power of song to defeat the enemies of Humanity. There were names "Ritsu 'The Rock' Jonson, Yui 'Metal Head' Joshon, Mio 'Deathhaver' Junson, and Mugi ' The Moogster' Josoon. They were in a space marine band because their all were named simliiar to johnson. They made music. Music of battle.

"For the Empernyan! said Ritsu. She swung her drumsticks and hit her drum kit which was a bolter and it shot some orkz. 

"NEEDS MORE MUCKA!" said the ork, and grabbed his sword. He leapted at Ritsu, who gasped in shock and dropped her drumsticks, but she didn't die because Yui swung her chain-guitar and cut the ork into 4 pieces.


"Thanks, Metal Head" said Ritsue. "NO problem The Rock" said Yui.

Suddenly, there was a giant ork who was carrying a tank like a gun. There was a tank because they were on earth in the past. They were time-travellers, too.

"BANG" he banged, and shot them with bullets. They flew backwards, but Mio used her magical space marine powers to make a giant pillow and they were okay. Then Mugi ran a comb throu her hair and grabbed a lazer gun out of her leather jacket's pocket.

"There is nos ponn." she said, and shot the ork. The ork exploded into a bunch of tiny orks, and they stepped on the orkz.

"Good mission." said Commisar Sawako, their teacher and also commisar.

"Thanks." They said.

"Now get back to the base, we are going to ahve a party. THer is someone new I want you to meet."

TO BE CONTINUE.


Thursday, November 25, 2010

FANFICTION, HO! Part Two

HOKUTO NO PIGPEN Part Two
A First of the North Star/ Peanuts crossover by MidniteLulz

Fist of the NOrth star is copyrite Someone guy in japan who also made DBZ.
Peanuts is copyrite Charles Shulz

Herr Brown who was Charlie Brown except evil and in the furure, looked up at the shadow and frowned. 

"who are you?" he asked, holding his gun up.,

"My name..." said Joe Coolshiro, "is Joe coolshiro."

Joe Coolshiro was a big muscular guy in a torn vest only he was a dog with sunglasses.

"What." yelled Herr Brown.

Suddenly, JOe Coolshiro punched him in the face. "you are already ded" he said, and CHarlibe Brown's face expldoed.

"HOORAY!" said everyone, until Linus said "ha!'

"I am a spy! He yelled, and pulled out a bigger gun.

"Oh no! Joo Colshiro, help us!" they asked.

"I can't his gun is too big." said Joe Coolshiro, who was alergic to cool guns.

"I need my brother Kenshiro, he doesn't afraid of guns.
Then Kenshiro was there and he went super-sayain and killed Link.

"Hooray, we are saved!" said everyone, except sally who kild her self because her sweet bagboon was dead.

The end.

PS., The desert turned to sea, cause the sea is a desrt with its life undergorn. and a perfect disgus abov. THen everyone had food and wa happy cause theye were pirates.


Coming Next post:

WARHAMMER 40K-ON
SAMAURAI JACK'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

FANFICTION, HO!

GOD HOUSEKEPING: THE GRAND FINALE
A fanfiction by Midnitelulz

dbz is copywrite bandai. martha stewart is copyrite nobody cuz you cant copyrite people.

Chichi walked into the house and was very shocked to see her husband and her son having asex with all these pbeiple, especaily her guest martha Sterwrat.

:goku, that is not hospitality!" she cryed. "let me show you hospitaltiy >:) she grinned like that evil.

She undied her pants to revel a super-long mega-dildo taped to her forehead. "UR SUPERSAIYAN, BUT I'M SUPER-SEXAN' (lololol) she yeld, and headbut martha stewart in the face with her dong forehead face.

"arglblarg' said martha sterwar, because she had a dong in her mouth, and couldn't talk at all.

"okay, that's " said goku, and went supersaiyan 65 in her vagind. suddenly, someone else came in the room and it was vegeta, who glowed at goku and said "karkarrot kamiket karkat kakkkoro goku, you have to stop sex, there is great danger.!"

Oh no, "said goku, and he grabed martha sterwrat by the hips and aimed at the sky with his her.

"CUM-E-HAM-EHA!" he rored and shot web inside martha sterwat, who was blasted into the skky from the impolse. The evil was hit in the face with martha stwerat, who suddenly pulled out some potpurrri cannon and killed him with her it.

"good, we win." said krillin, who was dying from being hit by a car.

The end.

PS, then they used the dragon balls to have sex rorever.


Thrilling narrative, no? How about something different?

HOKUTO NO PIGPEN.
A Fist of the North Star/Peanuts crossover by MidniteLulz

Once upon a tiem, there was the peanuts gang, only they were in the future and it was very dark and gloomy because all the plants turned into desserts. The gang was dancing in the sand because schredder was playing his piano and they were trying to be happy, but all in the desert was only sadness.
"I wish we could have happy again" said Sally, who was hugging LInus, because he wes her sweet bagboon, but he wasn't really. He was a spy.

"The great pumpkin will save us!" said Linux. 

:No." said Peppermint Patty, his sister. Linus stared at her.

'you'll see, the great pumpkin will save us."

Suddely, charlie brown, the leader of the bad guys, came riding up on a horse or a motercycle.
"Giv me your foods." he said holind a gun in his hand.

"you blockhead, " said lucy, before Charlie brown shot her in the face.

"anyone else want to smart talk at me haed?" said Herr Brown, cause that's what he was calling himself cause he was evil now, and had a pointy helment.

"No." said linus.

"Yes" said Marcie, and charlie brown shot her.

"oh no" said everyone. they were very sadder because they would soon die.

Suddenly, a shadow appeared.

TO BE CONTINUED.


Need more ideas. I'm gonna burn through them all very fast at this rate.

Monday, November 22, 2010

GOD HOUSEKEEPING PART TWO

Good Houskeping Part 2
A Fanfioc by MidnightLulz

DBZ char copyright AKIRA something.

Marthat sterwat copyrithg herself


A green lgiht was in the door of Goku's house as goku and gohane fuckd marhta sterawtr.

"Hey can i join in? a voice asked them "sure" goku smiled.

Picolol, who was gokus frend and teacher, walked over behind goku and rubed his nipples

"oh, goku, you got so big" my picolo dick isbig ust thinking bout it"

he bent over goku and put it in his ass.

"oh, fels so good, " picolo said, thrusting in an out of goku's ass, savorying the feel of his tatih anus on his cock

gohan frowned and waltked over to picolo"
"i want to fucekd too, picolo so piclol smiled and groaned. he popped up another dick on his leg, and gohan started fucking on his ass.

Marthat stewerat touched herself and said "i want a big dick in me," so she went over to goku and started to hump his dick

goku grabbed her and pulled her close, and kisd her lips, n she smiled at him.

Just then, chichi came in the house"oh my god" she said, droping her laundry.

TO BE CONTINUE? :o:o:o

Look forward to part three, and an upcoming fanfiction as well!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

And Now For Something Completely Different (Slightly NSFW text)

The next bit of Jimmy Nikola requires some extra resources that aren't quite ready yet. As far as releasing the next part goes, the mind is willing, but my body just isn't ready. Page views have dropped to practically nothing, and for good reason, I suppose, since I haven't updated in any reasonable increment for a while now.

To remedy this, I have decided to start a meager quest. A little adventure, if you will. I will write the best fanfiction the world has ever seen, bar none. By best, of course, I mean worse. Also best. It's a quantum thing, you need at least 12 degrees to comprehend the nuances in my fan dreck literature.

I think I'll start off with the first part of this little gem, but if you want something specific, or perhaps to issue a challenge, come at me, bro.

Write in the comments with the comic/mango/animu/tv show/movie/WHATEVER that you want me to write fanfiction for. Crossovers are highly encouraged. The worst/most inconceivable, the better. Also, if you want any tropes or anything included, be sure to list those too.

Without further ado, here is my Desert Eagle Opus:

God houskepping
A fanfic by MidniteLulz

GOKU, GOHNA, CHICHI ARE COPYRIGHT THE GUY WHO MADE DBZ (SOME JAPANESE GUY). MARTHA STERWRT IS COPYRIGHT HER (LOL)

Goku chardged up his power beams ans shot them into the rocks. the rocks blew up and flew intodust and small rocks into the air and goku smiled. good, I am getting dstronger everye day"  he said, smilingly.

He flew over to gohan and said "my son, we muts go home now and have food for dinner, so the ye went. whent hey were flying, gohan dtouched goku's dick, and goku smiled at him. "I will teach you to be a man yet, he said, and rubbed gonans butt. they french kissed in midair, but they arrived home, and Chi-Chi was waiting outside.

"oh, goku, i was waiting. we have a guest. Her name is martha stwerat and she is a really good housmaker who will help us keep clean.

"sonds like somone to have sex with" goku smiled

Martha stewart was inside, making an Autumn Guoud stew for Goku and gohan.

"oh, hi, i am martha stewatr. you must be goku"

Goku put his finger on her lips and said told her to "shush". he took his cloths off, and she smiled at him.
"i have this beautiful ring of spring colors to decorate dyour boner, goku" goku smilled at her and went supersayin his pubac hair sprugn up and turned gold like the color of supersyain ahair, and it was long like SSJ3 (but gohan SSJ3 color, not Goku). Marthat stewrat smiled and bent over to suck on gokus' dick.

she licked his penis and stuck it into her mouth "OHG od thevt feels so good aornd my dick" goku said, grabbing her hair.

"marhat asteweart smiled around his dick and grabbed a roast turky paninnin she made and rubbed it all over his thighs. he moaded with extaxy.

"hey dad, don't cur me no slack" gohan said, and walke up bhind martha stwerats. He pulled his dick out and jammed it in her hot pusy.

"oh fuck me in the as" she said, screaming.

"gohan, fuck at same time as me" goku insturcted, and kissed Gohan with his tongue.

goku and gohan kisd each other not sa father n son, but as lovers, as they pentrated martha stewart in both ends.

Suddenly, a flash of green light appeared, and a shadwoy figure walked in the door. "Hey, can I join in?"

to be continue? :O:O:O

So, come at me bro. Give me your best shot for fanfiction ideas. I assure you, my body is ready.

Is yours?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 17TH

[X] GET TO LOOTAN!

Oh man. You feel like a kid in a candy shop. I guess not so excited. You feel like a nerd in a nerd shop. That's exactly what you are, so the feeling is understandable. The excitement is almost palatable. You greedily snatch up a few things and jam them into your inventory. Your backpack is starting to get full, so on second thought, it would be best to probably only grab the things you need. But, actually, what do you need? You can think of things which would be practical, but there aren't many in this shop.

You suppose you could grab one of their cheap replica swords, but when it comes to Enhancing, you haven't a clue what would be effective. You look among the shelves. A warhammer model? You're not sure you can handle that much dakka. Maybe a rulebook? D&D Fourth Edition? Nope.avi. How about some dice? That seems like it could be okay, or absolutely terrible. Magic Cards... well, you were never that good at card games anyways.

You catch a sudden blur of motion out of the corner of your eye. You half-spin clumsily backwards, reaching for your sword, which is caught on your jacket. You attempt to make the gesture as threatening as possible, doing a kind of thrust with your left hip, which swings the blade a few inches. A man with shifty eyes and a long trenchcoat stands before you, holding his hands up in a gesture of non-aggression.

"Calm down sir, I am most certainly alive, yes?" He explains, in an accent which sounds vaguely european/middle-eastern/asian/irish/southern. Definitely one of those, you reason. He doesn't seem to be a threat at any rate, so you put your sword away. Well, a few more inches away. You'll have to work on drawing it.

"Who are you?" You ask.

He gives you a little bow, with a grandiose circular motion of his hand.

"Sneaky Pete, at your service, yes? I am a traveling salesman of merchandise of all shape and manner. You are most fortunate to have survived this ordeal, yes? You are rewarded with grand savings! Congratulations!"

You blink at him. He does not blink at all.

"Okay. Uh..." You're not sure if you can really loot with someone watching you. It feels like he's definitely judging you. This is your take on the situation, up until he starts sweeping armfuls of merchandise into a sack.

"Hey, what are you doing?! That's looting!" You hypocritize. He looks at you and smiles, before shoving more goods into the sack.

"No, no, it's okay. I own this shop. This is my shop, yes?"

"Yeah right! You think I'm gonna fall for that?"

Sneaky Pete smiles and holds up a piece of paper for your inspection. You take a peek. It's a rather official-looking deed. "DEED OF SALE - THIS BUSINESS HEREBY IS UNDER OWNERSHIP OF..."

The name is then crossed out rather severely in black ink, and "SNEAKY PETE" is written above it.

"..."

"You see? Clearly, I am the owner of the store, yes?"

"Sure. Okay. Sure." There's not much point in arguing with him.

"So, you are a customer, yes?" He asks. You don't have much money on you. Maybe 100 bucks total.

"I, uh. I guess so." you state blankly. 

"Well, take a look at my wares!"

....


To be continued... Big part coming in. Lots of work I gotta do to prep for it. Sorry for the delays.

Friday, November 12, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 16TH

[X] Leave

These guys are total fucking loonies. If you stick around, bad things will happen. It'll all end in tears, you know it. Best just to make like a tree and get the fuck out of here. You duck under the arms of a beefy man who is attempting to tape a fire ax to his shotgun, and mumble something resembling an apology.

"Gotta, stove on. Bye, okay." You announce, before calmly walking out the door and SPRINTING AS FAST AS YOU CAN FOR THE NEAREST BUILDING. You make it to the nearby DUNGEONS AND VALUES nerd-store. Ah, finally, something relaxing. It seems that you are alone, for the time being. Only a single zombie is making teeth-filled kissyfaces at the door. Probably more will join him, but you should be out of here by the time that happens. Now then. You are by all accounts a nerd, in an abandoned nerd boutique. There is practically everything you could have ever wanted. Too much to list. Mangos, animus, videya gaems, tabletop game die-casts, rulebooks, figurines, trading cards, random merchandise. You start to drool.

"MOTHER OF MOE"

THEY HAVE THE NEW NEVER-BEFORE-RELEASED MAIDO MISAKO TOASTER COZY. THEY WERE SOLD OUT IN JAPAN! You make for it, and as soon as your fingers touch it, you hear a huge crash in the back room.

"WEREN'T DOIN NOTHIN!" you yell, turning around as quickly and nonchalantly as possible, given the circumstances. More sounds of rummaging from the back room. Maybe you're not alone in here after all.  Hmm...


[]Go check out the back room
[]TIME FOR LOOTAN!
[]Run screaming like a tiny baby man out of the store
[]Genuflect


[X]Genuflect

You fall to your knees before the dead man.

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU FAINT TO DEATH! FORGIVE MY HORRIFYING RUSE, IT WAS MERELY LIES AND CHARLATANRY!" 

The zombie opens an eye and stands back up. Your eyes bulge out from your head.

"You're not a zo-"

"ZOMBIE!" you scream, and hit him in the head with a handful of magazines.

He screams and grabs the nearest object, a deadly deadly lampshade.

****

One completely pointless and largely embarrassing fight later, you have come to the begrudged conclusion that neither of you are probably zombies. 

"So, um... welcome, I guess. We're going to escape in this bus." You pat the bus congenially. The strange man nods feverishly.

"Okay, uh, when are you leaving?"

"At 1. So, in about an hour." 

"We need to leave NOW! I just came from the graveyard. You're not going to believe what just happened."
You somewhat doubt that. Probably involves zombies. You like to think you're pretty jaded in respect to this whole outbreak. There's no way anything he says is going to jar you.

So he tells you.

And it does.

"So, you're telling me somebody was CONTROLLING them?"

"Yeah. That MAN IN THE BLACK COAT."

"... Why did you say it like that?"

"Say what like what?"

"You just... Never mind." 

He stops and toys with his DSi for a bit.

"So, what should we do, then? Go now, or wait?"

[]Leave now
[]Check F.O.R.T.U.N.E.
[] Wait until one
[]Genuflect

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Vote

Also, vote on the Jimmy Nikola post down there. It's all tied up.

NEWVEMBER

Hello, true believers. I suppose I should say True Believer, since it seems only one person bothered to stick with it. Sad news, although I'm sure it will be taken rather ambivalently. I've decided to end Newvember.

As it is, nobody is following Newvember, with barely anybody even making a token effort. Over 5 days, only 6 people even voted on whether or not they were following, or attempting to follow, Newvember, out of 113 (It was 114, apparently somebody unsubscribed). This was an attempt to make something neat, to make a month where people could try their best to improve themselves. I suppose I was too ambitious in that respect. I must have  requested  more from my audience than they were capable of. Clearly, I asked too much. For this, I sincerely apologize. Maybe I'll have better luck some other time, although I highly doubt it. 

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 9: CLEANING THE TOYS IN THE ATTIC

Welcome once again, True Believers, to another edition of Newvember? How are things going? It seems a lot of people are deciding to quit, which is discouraging. I appreciate any feedback about Newvember, as I am sort of winging it. Are the challenges too hard? Is there too much to deal with? It seems a reasonable amount to assign, but perhaps I am biased. In either case, today's challenge deals with clearing out those stuffy thoughts.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS:
PRACTICE GOOD MENTAL HYGIENE



What is good mental hygiene?  Simply put, it is the practice of avoiding negative thoughts, paranoia, fatalism, and other such mind-killers which prevent you from living to your fullest potential. There is, as usual, a guide, although the guide is overflowing with examples. Keep in mind, Newvember is mostly an exercise for you. I don't expect you to do everything I tell you to a tee. The most important thing is making an effort, even if you don't live up to the full challenge. There aren't any modes today, it's all just a matter of how badly you want to improve.


As usual, comment, please.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Newvember Day 8: WAX ON, WAX OFF

Looks like I didn't set the auto-publish right on this one. So, here it is now.

Welcome once again, True Believers! Today marks the beginning of a new week of Newvembering! Today is one of the most important days, and that day is the day of practice!


TODAY'S CHALLENGE:
PRACTICE WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED



Practice is extremely important. Practice nails in the tenets of action, practice hones your body and mind. Mondays are a day to practice the hobbies you have taken up, study culture further, practice your meditation more, try a bit of small-talk, perhaps. Don't forget to keep regular on your exercise, as well. Today is a day to drill into your mind and body what you have already accomplished, before we begin more. 

Keep strong, True Believers! As always, comment. 


Sunday, November 7, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 7: YUKKURI TAKE IT EASY

Welcome back, True Believers! If you have been keeping up, congratulations, you have made it through the first week! If you have maybe slipped a bit, don't fret, just get back on the horse and continue. Today's challenge illustrates the importance of not overexerting yourself.


TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS:
PRACTICE MEDITATION

It is important to give it your all, but if you work at 100% constantly, you will burn out, and will progressively get sloppier and more tired in your actions. It's important to take some time for yourself as well. Meditation is an excellent way to Take it Easy. Breathing meditation is one of the easiest methods of meditation, and it only takes a few minutes out of your day. There are more disciplined kinds of meditation, like Zen Meditation, but since this is the day of rest, there is no need to go so far unless you are serious about improvement.

Here is a simple guide on breathing meditation:

And a guide on Zen Meditation:

For those of you who enjoy music while meditating, here is a collection of suitable songs, complete with RainyMood accompaniment:

Easy Mode: Take it Easy
Casual Mode: Yukkuri Take it Easy
Normal Mode: Practice Breathing Meditation
Hardcore Mode: Practice some other type of meditation
Nightmare Mode: Practice Zazen

As usual, comment. Till next time, True Believers!

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECT

[X] Genuflect

You fall to your knees.

"I'm sorry, Roman! I cannot handle the majesty of your rough and tumble bunch! I am just a spineless nobody who ain't worth nohow anyhow! Please spare my life!"

Roman erupts into flames at your prostration.

"YOU DARE TO SPEAK SUCH THINGS TO ME?! I WILL SHOW YOU THE TRUTH BEHIND ROUGH AND TUMBLE METHODOLOGY! BEHOLD, THE TUMBLETRON 2000!"

The wall behind you explodes outwards, and motorcycle with monster truck wheels squeals to a halt in the store. David Hasselhoff dismounts from the bike,  taking off his sunglasses to reveal another, smaller pair of sunglasses underneath.

"Did somebody ask for a life lesson?" He demands.

Roman pushes you towards the Hoff, who Hassels you up and down before strapping you to the back of the bike.

"LESSON ONE: DON'T BE A BUSTA!" He activates the turbo-boosters, and you are launched off the nearest ramp into low earth orbit. You die of asphyxiation and shock.

YOU HAVE DIED.

Retry? 

[] Go hide in a corner
[] Inquire about armaments
[] Leave
[] Try to make small talk

Saturday, November 6, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 6: SOCIAL BUTTERFLY

Hello once again, True Believers! TO those of you who may be thinking about giving up, I implore you to stick with it. For those of you who already HAVE given up, it's never too late or too early to retry. Today's challenge is an easy one.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS:
PRACTICE SMALL-TALK

If you're anything like me, you might find it awkward to talk about small things with strangers or acquaintances. It is probably hard to think of things to talk about, which just leads to an all-around awkward situation. Today's challenge will help you avoid that, by arming you with deadly blades of pointless small-talk. Truth be told, a large majority of small-talk is just filler, empty words that fill the silence, but small-talk also serves a purpose of helping to ease into different subjects, essentially acting as a grease for conversation, rather than a jarring series of questions with one-word answers. For today's challenge, try practicing this with something or somebody.

Easy Mode: An inanimate object (Best to choose something resembling something living. Toasters or such would be a little weird, but stuffed animals or figures would be alright)
Casual Mode: A family member or close friend
Normal Mode: A stranger.
Heavy Mode: A person you have never met, but have seen a few times.
Nightmare Mode: A stranger at a party.
 
As usual, comment and such.

EDIT: I did  Normal Mode today, talking with a few people around my work. Not much of an issue, if you're in the service industry, although technically I don't deal with customers.

Friday, November 5, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 5: CULTURED LIKE A FINE YOGURT

Good morning evening, True Believers! I apologize for the rather late posting of today's installment, and I realize that for some of you, it probably is not today any longer. I had internet troubles earlier today, and have been working since just after noon, so I have not had a chance to post. Well then, I suppose you get an easy one for today, then:


TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS:
ENRICH YOUR LIFE WITH CULTURE

This is very vague, and purposefully so! Use whatever tools are at your disposal (Read: Internet, most likely) to research a bit about a culture unfamiliar to you, whether it be foreign, from the past, or some obscure sub-group of society. Keep in mind, this must be one UNFAMILIAR TO YOU. That means you could have heard about it, but you can't know much of anything about it. No cheating and doing something like "Indie musicians" or "gamer culture."

Pop culture does not count, no matter how removed from it you consider yourself. I think I'll investigate ancient Norse culture, because for such an interesting culture, I know ashamedly little. I think I'll start here with the basic page for early culture:

And then wikiwalk my way to more substantial information.

As usual, comment on what your plans are, how your previous challenges are going, and some motivation for fellow True Believers. I apologize that it is taking so long for the next Jimmy Nikola post, I've been busy with a lot of stuff. I'll try to get it up tonight, and if not, then tomorrow night.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 4: FILLING ONE HOUR WITH 60 MINUTES.

Good morning, True Believers! Here once more for another exciting edition of Newvember? Let's get started, shall we?

TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS:
START A NEW HOBBY

Hobbies are a great way to enrich your life. They give you a productive outlet for creativity, fill time in meaningful ways that would otherwise be frittered away on VIDEYA GAEMS or otherwise, not to mention the fact that they broaden your spectrum as a person, and give you more utility and knowledge, as well as subjects to talk to others about.

But, what hobby should you take up? Hobby is a very vague term, and usually, things like collecting stamps or rocks or whatever come to mind. The challenge here is to apply something you are already good at, some aspect you excel in, towards a new hobby. Do you like music? Perhaps try your hand at an instrument. Enjoy reading? Perhaps try writing. For those who already have a productive hobby, like painting, drawing, photographing, sculpting, engineering, et all, perhaps try applying your skill in a different way. Try a new style of art, photograph something you don't usually photograph, try a different medium, challenge yourself to fix something you haven't attempted before.

If you don't already have a hobby, there are many different options available to you.

Here is a rather large list of hobbies, with guides for quite a few of them:
http://www.notsoboringlife.com/list-of-hobbies/

For today's challenge, I am going to continue writing, but that's too Easy Mode. I'm also going to attempt juggling. Here is a bonus Mode guide:


Easy Mode: Continue with hobbies you already have
Casual Mode: Apply the hobbies you have in a different way
Normal Mode: On top of your regular hobbies, add a new hobby.
Heavy Mode: Make the new hobby a productive hobby (As in, not "Sleeping" or "Watching TV")
Nightmare Mode: Make the new hobby something that takes dedication and practice (Drawing or art, Magic Tricks, anything physical, etc etc)


So, what are you going to do, True Believers? Comment for motivation, updates on challenges from other days, and plans for today's challenge.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 3: GET UP AND MOVE!

Welcome, True Believers, to another day of Newvember. How is everybody doing so far? Good? Damn right, you're doing good! Let's get to business.


TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS:
START EXERCISING

Yes, yes, I know. Maybe you don't want to exercise. Maybe you try to exercise but can't make yourself stick with it. Maybe you do exercise and are sitting here saying "Lol, today's challenge is in the BAG." Neither of this are valid excuses, this is Newvember, a chance to become better than what you were before. 

This might be a challenge for some people, but what it comes down to is your will to succeed. Motivation is probably the biggest challenge people will have with this one. This problem will likely come up disguised as "time." You have time to work out. If you are reading this blog post, then you definitely have a half hour a day you can spare. It all depends on how badly you want to improve yourself. 

This challenge is to START exercising, to begin. You must find a workout regimen that you can do on a regular basis, and you must stick with it for at least the rest of the month.

Here is my regimen so far, it's pretty shitty, but it's what I've been doing:

Mon/Wed: DDR (350 cal or 30 minutes), Fencing (45 minutes), Strength Training (30 minutes)
Tues/Thurs: DDR (350 cal or 30 minutes), Running (Couch To 5K program)

On weekends I work in a kitchen all day. I plan on adding some more stuff to that, but that is what I am doing right now. You don't have to try to match that, although it would be a huge step if you did (come at me, bro). Not that I'm bragging, I'm sure there are people who do a LOT more than me who are reading this.

Adding just one exercise to your daily routine can make a huge difference. You probably won't enjoy it during the act, but you will feel better afterward, and the long-term effects of doing it regularly far outweigh the short-term benefit of taking it easy instead.

Here are some resources to help you. 

The Couch To 5K Running Program: 

The routine I plan on following (Note: I don't know how great this routine is, you can probably ask someone on /fit/, as they know much more than I do):


Motivation:
 http://tinyurl.com/26zm3cm (Probably more or less NSFW, it's an archived thread from a certain popular image board.)

Until next time, True Believers! As always, feel free to comment on either your own exercising, your plans to exercise, motivation for fellow True Believers, or anything else related to Newvember. Feedback is appreciated as well.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

NEWVEMBER DAY 2: PREPARE FOR GLORY

Welcome, True believers! For those of you who have decided to try out Newvember, way to go! For those of you who haven't, there is still time to give it a try! I guarantee you won't regret it.

Today's Challenge Is:

CLEAN UP!

It may not sound like much in the way of improvement, and it may in fact sound quite silly, but maintaining a clean living environment and good personal hygiene is a wonderful way to start improving your life. If you're anything like me, you often let your room get far too messy. If you're having trouble knowing where to start, here are some tips. You will definitely see improvement after your surroundings are clean, even if it's just a bit more comfort.

Besides doing some chores earlier today, I also cleaned up my room a bit during the writing of this post. I threw out a bunch of trash that had been accumulating, cleared my desk of useless stray junk, and even dusted a bit. Actually, the dusting in the middle of writing may not have been such a good idea, because it's going to give me a headache. Always remember to have good ventilation when you dust!

So, comment on anything you plan to do today for Newvember. Help motivate your fellow brothers!

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 15TH - PART FINAL

BE THE DJ!

You are now the DJ! You brush a hand across your brow, wiping away sweat that is cold, confused, and a little shocked that it is seeing the outside world. You are not used to all this exertion. The product of your uncharacteristic effort gleams in the flickering light of the church garage. While it certainly isn't a tank, the bus' windows are reinforced well enough to withstand any zombie assault. You doubt it will hold up for extended periods of time, but you only have to keep them from getting in until you leave the city.

You nod. "Very good. Time to finally start taking it easy."

Monday, November 1, 2010

NANO NANO(WRIMO)

As mentioned in my other post, to kick off Newvember, I have decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. NaNoWriMo is an organization, and a challenge. Basically, it calls on new writers to pledge to write 50,000 words towards a new novel in the month of November.

It's really expanded by leaps and bounds since it was first started in 1999. I figured, I might as well give it a shot. Truth be told, I don't really have a concrete idea for a story yet. I'm sure I'll figure something out, but if any of you guys got some ideas, I wouldn't be adverse to hearing them.

Is anyone else gonna do NaNoWriMo as well?

Speaking of writing, the Jimmy Nikola update is coming soon, as well.

NEWVEMBER!

Welcome, true believers, to the plan to become the man you could be, even if you are a woman. I am talking about a little thing called NEWVEMBER. I was going to say I made it up, but I did a paranoid Google search, and evidently, somebody else has made something similar before. This really shouldn't surprise me, but I will continue, undaunted, with my plan. I can't lay claim to the name Newvember, but can make my own Newvember thing, and I will take credit for it. ALL THE CREDIT. ALL OF IT.

But Marty Chang Mezzo, what is this "Newvember" thing? Good question!

Newvember is a month, taking place during June September November, in which we all try our best to enrich our lives, and become significantly more awesome. Every day, I will post a guide to do something new, a challenge, a plan, or an idea of some sort, which will make us all just a little more rad.  Even if you make only a few small changes during the month, if you stick with it every day, by December 1st, you will be Hella Rad.

That's a promise, bro.

This is all very vague, I'm sure, but it will hopefully become more clear as we go on.

Today's challenge is 
START SOMETHING


Obviously, there is not much time left today, but today's challenge is very small. All you must do is make the token effort to begin something new. You can start a project you've put on hold for a while. You can do that chore or task you have been putting off. You can start on your backlog, start a new Animu (Looking at you, Ken-Sama) or start reading a new book.

For Newvember, my Start Something task is another popular event which takes place in November, which I will address in a separate post.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Spooky tidings to all you true believers out there! May you have a spooky good time, no matter what you are doing. Adventuring recommences with fervor after the holiday. I've been slacking on quite a bit of stuff, but I'm gonna make November a month for getting back on track. Going to start exercising more, eating better (lol yeah right, Halloween candy), writing more frequently, and being generally more awesome.

I'll have a post detailing more stuff tomorrow, so maybe we can get a little more awesome together.

In the time being, enjoy this Halloween filler video


Thursday, October 28, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 15TH - PART 2

YOU ARE NOW MAJOR TOM!

You duck back around the corner as the Grappler's claws streak past your head. After setting up the markers around town, you made haste to Mustang Arms, the apartment buildings where the distress call had originated. Making your way up to the second floor, you didn't get much farther than the first corner, before being pinned down by enemy fire.

Arms fire. The grappler launches its claws again, striking the corner in front of you. The claws tear into the wall, gouging deep grooves into it before releasing it and retracting once more.

"Come on, you Stretch Armstrong piece of shit. Hit me!"

The claws fire once more, and as soon as they rocket past you,  you reach out and yank the arms towards you. The appendages go slack as the zombie is yanked off his feet. Spinning into the hall, you hold the arms down with your boot and shoulder your triple-enhanced rifle: VARIA DELUXE. A flick of your finger switches the knob from "SPRAY N PRAY" to "ULTRA DELUXE." You like to be flashy every now and then, and since this joker had kept you pinned in that corner for almost a minute, he deserves a bit of glamorous retribution.

You line up the sights and squeeze the trigger.

"Game over, Slim."


A WISE MAN ONCE SAID...

So, lately I've been reading a bunch of quotes. Not the usual inspiration quote thing, that's a whole 'nother can of worms. No, I've been reading quotes for entertainment. Most of them are from IRC channels, a large majority of them deal with nerd culture, and huge amounts are less quotes and more anecdotes. Either way, it's a great way to kill time that could otherwise be spent doing something productive. This operates on the "Just one more" principle that makes TVTropes so addicting.

The site in question is the Quote Database.

Not really sure how regularly it is updated, but there are plenty of quotes on there, ranging from mildly funny to wildly hilarious. You probably already know about it, or at least have heard about it, but now I'm taking a thing that was already popular and exposing it to more light! I'm like an "INTERNET CORRESPONDANT" for mainstream media. QND is like the new lolcats, a year after the fact.

But, you aren't here for my rise to trash rag reporting fame. You are here for adventuring. If you haven't gathered, this post relates to that aspect in a manner most tangential. To be truthful, I was hard at work writing the blog post in the hopes of getting it up before midnight (an hour ago). Funny thing, Blogger lies when it says it saves your work. Ha. Ha ha ha. That is funny, isn't it? Unless you want a post saying "YOU ARE RED JENCY" (Which is inaccurate, since I decided to wait on that bit until later), the post is far from ready.

Well. Time for more quotes, and possibly unconsciousness. Hopefully in that order. I will finish the post in the morning, I promise, and if I don't, may the internet be slightly irate at me until they realize the internet has experienced the Porn Singularity, and they go off to pursue other matters (matter-bation, as the term is commonly known.)

Monday, October 25, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 15TH

[X] Consult with F.O.R.T.U.N.E. before deciding.

"I think I'm going to check in with some people online, to see what else is going on." You say. Rick nods warily. 

"Okay, well, I'm headed for the hospital. I guess I'll see you there if you decide to come." He starts walking in the direction of the hospital before stopping and turning around. "And... good luck."

With that, Rick says goodbye and deserts you. You watch him disappear over the rises and falls of the various rooftops. You log onto F.O.R.T.U.N.E.


INCOMING TRANSMISSION

Sorry for the lack of updates as of late. I've had quite a busy weekend. Work was a pretty huge pain. Soups were going to be on sale, so I had to prep 100 pounds each of mirepoix (celery, carrots, and onions) on top of my usual workload. On top of that, I've been feeling pretty bleh lately, which isn't an excuse in itself, although it is contributory.

Throw in some New Vegas and you have a match made not necessarily in heaven, but definitely in some place where matches are made.

This is all just a roundabout way of saying that a new adventure is going to be posted by 6:00 PDT.

Friday, October 22, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 14TH

[X] Follow Rick up the stairs.

If he says that going out the exit isn't a great idea, you'd probably better not go. You're not sure why he would say that, but you can certainly think up a couple of different reasons, and none of them are very pleasant. The best bet is to try and find some way off the building from the roof. 

You set out for the stairs, and Rick starts talking.
"So, m'name's Rick. I worked here at InnerTech for probably, I'd say, 23 years. It's a pretty shitty job, lemme tell you. They had me on as a consultant. That place was so terrible. Even the coffee was trash. Blah blah blah blah."

You zone out as you start to climb the extremely long flight of stairs.


MEANWHILE...

"Hey, open up! You guys didn't give up on me already, did you?" "Oh! Oh, he's back!"  Nancy shouts. You rise and heads to the door, releasing the intricate and subtle locking mechanism (A broom through the handle and a heavy table pressed against it). 

"C'mon, let me in already." Frank shouts.

You open the door, and three young ladies rush in, carrying a baseball bat, a plumber's wrench, and a large lawn dart.

"W..."

Frank saunters in after them, wearing a blood-splattered tuxedo and reflective shades.

"Doing some shopping, huh? And here I thought you were having trouble." you comment blithely.

"Trouble? No way. I've covered wars, you know." 

"So you've said..." Drew drones. As a Vietnam vet, he doesn't care for Frank's blase attitude towards war. As a crotchety old man, he doesn't care for Frank's everything else.

"In any case, the clothes were just stuff I picked up along the way. I found survivors, and I also found what I was looking for." 

He holds up a copy of a videya gaem: "Fatal Frame."

"A videya gaem? Why would you grab one of those?" Nancy questionates.

"I think I might know why," you proffer, as Frank begins Enhancing his camera.

"That game is Fatal Frame. It's a horror game where you fight ghosts. The reason he grabbed it is because you fight them..."

He holds up his newly created Camera Obscura and focuses in on a mob of zombies outside.

He snaps off a photo, tagging 12 HORROR PP markers, 2 HUMOR PP markers, for a total of about 1,000 PP. 

"With a camera."

"Nice." Frank says, as the zombies all fall to the ground, dead.

"This baby should work nicely..."


MEANWHILE...

One life story, and many stairs later, you reach the roof.

"And that's when I KNEW that I had dandruff." Rick explains.

You had worried, you supposed, that in a social situation you wouldn't know what to do. You had thought you might panic, and freeze up. In a way, Rick's tirade was not nearly as bad as you thought social interaction would be. In many other ways, it was even worse than you had ever dreamt.

"So, that's when I started taking the third medication. My fourth medication was for my explosive diarrhea that the second and third made when taken together. Hoo man! You do NOT want to hear about that. Anyways, that had me on the can for..."

Oh lord, no.

You speedwalk away from him as quickly as possible. You come to the edge of the building and briefly debate jumping to escape, before you look down.

MOTHER OF MOE. 

You had thought it was just a game. You could kind of play your way through the zombie apocalypse. Perhaps it was just delusion. Perhaps it was wishful thinking. Either way, if this was a game, the learning curve was one hell of a killer. As you stare down, you can see all the way to the mall from here. The parking lot swarms with zombies. There are easily 500, and more are trudging their way towards the mall.

Why the hell do zombies love malls? You don't get it. 

Rick wipes his sweaty brow and whistles.

"That's a lot of zombies."

"So, anyways, the bridge is on the other side of the building here. My coworkers were headed for the hospital. There's an evac station there. I think I'm gonna head that way too. Are you coming with?"

[]Go with Rick
[]Go to the mall
[]Talk to everyone on F.O.R.T.U.N.E. before deciding.
[]Genuflect


 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: GENUFLECTION THE 13TH

"Holy shit..."

You sheath your sword and start heading for an entrance again.

"H-hey, wait up!"

Ohgodhe'sfollowingyou. Don't panic, Jimmy. Just remain calm. Just ignore him and maybe he'll go away.

The man catches up to you, huffing slightly.

"My name is Richard. Richard Astley. No relation to the singer. Tesla, huh? That's an, uh... interesting name."

Oh jesus. You stare at him, eyes bugging out of your head. He's going to say that it's a fake name. He's going to call your bluff and then where will you be? What, are you going to argue with him that it's your real name? Are you going to confess that you lied and be back to square one? What next?

The man steps back -somewhat startled- and raises his hands defensively. "Hey, don't get me wrong, guy! It's a fine name. Tesla! Right on! Ha... haha..."

You turn back around. Looks like you get to play pretend a little longer. Now then, where is this exit?

The hallway ahead glows with the dim green light of the exit sign, mounted above a door. Perfect. You head for it.

"Whoah, buddy! You do NOT wanna go out there. Trust me. If you're looking for a way out, some people said they were gonna go by the rooftops. I was gonna go with them, but a bunch of those blue guys cut me off. But hey, I bet they're no problem for you, right? Eheh..."

Hmm. What do?

[]Go through the Emergency Exit
[]Follow Rick up the stairs to the roof
[]Go back to the main entrance and try something else
[]Genuflect

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

100 Followers


Good Times For All

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 100TH EDITION

[X] Help the Man

He saved your ass (possibly literally). The least you can do is return the favor. You grab your sword and head in the direction the ghost ran. You turn the corner and dart through the maze of corridors. Only a few flashes of blue ahead lead the way. You are reminded somewhat of the Woods of Mystery. Following the light, just barely keeping up, you quickly come to a large, open cubicle bullpen.



All the furniture is astray, leaving a large, open area in the center. It seems as if the cubicle walls had been used along with the desks to form a barricade. A barricade which has since been overrun. You kick aside a larger piece of fabric-covered wall and take a few tentative steps into the room.

"Stop moving!" a voice hisses.

You spin around to find the man hiding , curled under a desk.

"They can't see you if you don't move!"

"Isn't that T-rexes?"

A screech fills the air, and a zombie lands directly in front of you. The ghost has revealed itself.

"Finally decided to show your face, huh you son of a... wait, what?"

This zombie is most decidedly not a Ghost. Its limbs hang lanky and frail, with an abnormally large barrel-chest. A yellow aura glows around it, sparkling off its arms, which seem to be covered in a fine ash.

"Yellow? Did that guy say anything about yellow ones?"

You briefly consider looking up the post again, when the zombie answers your question by opening large pores on its arms and jettisoning out a hot stream of fire, which covers its arms.

"WHAT" you what.


The Hellspitter brings up its burning arms. It doesn't seem as if the fire is affecting him in any way, other than the obvious way of being absolutely terrifying. He advances towards you, drooling flame.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE! FIGHT!" The man urges you.

You snap out of your trance just in time, blocking a swing of his arms. You are surprised to find that as frail-looking as they were, the arms are not lacking on hardness. In fact, you would go so far as to say they are arms of steel, cliches be damned.

You thrust against his assault, sending him stumbling back a few feet. He swings his arms in the air, leaving an intimidating streak of fire behind. You swing your own sword, leaving a  snowy trail behind. You're not sure why you did that, you just felt compelled.

THE WHEEL OF FATE IS TURNING!
REBEL 1!

ACTION!


Sunday, October 17, 2010

COMING THIS FALL...

Hey everyone. Sorry for the lack of updates lately, I've been preparing a super-large post to celebrate getting 100 followers. I won't say much more on the subject rather than "woo 100 followers" because I want to acknowledge it in a more significant way.

Just bear with me a bit longer, I'll post it by tomorrow afternoon.

Friday, October 15, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 11TH GENUFLECTION

[X] Swing wildly, hoping to kill the zombies

"Oh SHIT!" You scream, swinging the blade around in a wide arc. By some sort of devil's luck, you actually hit a zombie, square in the chest. Frost starts to spread in midair, taking on a zombie-shape before the shape shatters into very visible bloody chunks.

"Okay... I can do this..."


You grip your sword in both hands and start to spin wildly down the corridor.

"DEMACIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" You scream, spinning with the fury of a thousand tops.

The rest of the Ghosts move easily out of your way, climbing onto the ceiling above you, although you are oblivious to this. You move almost the entire length of the hallway in said roundabout  manner before predictably becoming very dizzy.

"Oof." You brace your knees for support, trying your best not to throw up.

"That was a bad choice..."

The Ghosts agree with you, which they demonstrate by leaping onto your back and pinning you to the ground.

"OH GOD, I'M BEING RAPED!" you scream, as the zombies sink their claws into your weak nerd flesh.

You close your eyes and pray for a swift death. A swift death is not to come, however, as a thrown stapler halts their assault.

"Hey, you punks! Over here!"

You open your eyes and look in the direction of the screamer, in time to see a middle-aged man run down a corridor. The weight is lifted off your back as the zombie on top of you chases after him, flashing blue and fading out of visibility as it goes. You quickly stand up, coming face to face with the other zombie. It hisses at you, and you slice it's head in half with your sword.

"That hurt, you piss ass fuck." you say, trying to be tough. Your shoulders are currently searing with pain.

What should you do?

[]Go help the man.
[]Continue towards the exit, and out to the mall.
[]Try to find some sort of first aid for your wounds.
[]Genuflect

MEANWHILE: 

"Alright, we'll hit the mall from this angle. The doors here are already compromised, so we can blow this out with one of Chuck's grenades." The leader of the raiding party explains.

"Yeah, I still don't get where Chuck got grenades from," pipes up a scrawny, somewhat mousy guy with

"They are war heirlooms. They are completely legal for me to possess for their historical merit." Chuck says matter-of-factly.

"Who cares about legality? It's the end of the fucking world, we're about to go loot a god-damn mall."

"We are not LOOTING. We are obtaining supplies for our survival and the survival of others. This is a completely justified action." The leader says, tapping the map of the mall with his knife.

"Sounds like looting to me, Roman."

Roman sighs, idly picking the soft wood top of the picnic table with the tip of his knife.

"Can we just focus on the plan please? Death looms over the unprepared. Never be unprepared!"


SECOND OPTION SET (Pick one of these as well)
[] Be the tough guy
[] Be the brainy guy
[] Be the soldier
[] Be the girl
[] Be the DJ
[] Be the Pokemon Master

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 10TH GENUFLECTION (Part 2)

MEANWHILE...


The darkness of the building hovers all around you, held at bay only by the faint glow of your sword. From what you have seen, it appears to be some sort of office building. You've peeked into quite a few offices. Some are perfectly tidy, and you seem to recall that there will likely be many infected people calling in sick before the zombie outbreak starts. That happens a lot in movies. These pristine offices are almost as unnerving as the ones with furniture in disarray and blood splatters everywhere. The juxtaposition paints a grim before-and-after image.

Perhaps even MORE unnerving than the remnants of slaughter, are the missing pieces of said remnants. Case in point, there are no bodies, inanimate or otherwise, anywhere to be seen. The arm you had seen from the entrance was just a mannequin arm, and your repeated attacks (with sobbing as extra bonus damage), had swiftly dispatched it before it had time to become some sort of crazy Silent Hill mannequin monster beast.

With no easily-dispatched zombies waiting for you, the illusion that this is merely some game is beginning to wear off, and real fear is setting in once more. You can't find the exit. Where is the exit? Out of the corner of your eye, you see a blue light down the hallway. Is it an exit sign? You dash in that direction, coming to a dead stop in front of a dead end. Stairs lead up to your left, but no door to be seen. No lights either. There is no exit here, THEN WHO WAS LIGHT? Agh. You're creeping yourself out. This building is empty, the zombies have probably just gone out onto the street to find more prey. Gotta get  a hold of yourself. Gotta calm down. Let's browse some F.O.R.T.U.N.E. See if we can't find any animus or something a little calmer.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 10TH GENUFLECTION

[X] Go through a building

"Well... the street is blocked off here. I could walk back and try to find a way around it, or I could just walk through this building and go out the side-door..."

You scrutinize the dimly lit corridor of the building through the broken glass in the door-frame. You carefully scribe into your mind the patterns of the splashes of blood on the walls and the floor. You make a mental note of the limp and splotchy arm lying half-in, half-out of a doorway. Hmm.
Now to compare. You turn around and look at the street behind you. There is a dead zombie (double-dead, not just dead dead, which is the usual state for zombies) and a bunch of assorted trash.

"Yeah, I'll just turn around." 

So saying, you turn and start to head back the way you came, when suddenly a zombie clown rounds the corner, honking its way towards victory. It pauses in its merry undead shuffle and looks directly at you.

"Oh god, clown zombies? You have to be ki-" 
Another clown zombie rounds the corner, bumping into the first one. A third joins them, and then a huge, lumbering zombie bear in a top hat rounds the corner as well, snarling and puffing on a comically large pipe.

"NOPE."
You turn and run into the dark and foreboding building. 

Monday, October 11, 2010

TRAIN YOUR ⑨ IN MINUTES A DAY.

Jimmy Nikola's votes are all tied up, and the next post is gonna be a long one. In the meantime, enjoy this game.
The game is "Cirno Training" and it is at first glance a simple math game. The trick to it, however, comes from the fact that Cirno, of Touhou fame, is an idiot.

The game itself is simple. You will be given a simple addition of two numbers, and two answers to choose from. Answer INCORRECTLY, unless the answer is ⑨.

You get points based on how quickly you answered, up to 5 per question, and it continues to get faster and faster, necessitating faster answer times. My personal record is 287. How far can you get?



THE NEXT BEST THING SINCE CANNED BREAD!

Hey there folks. No adventuring post quite yet, I think I'm gonna leave it open to hopefully get a few more votes on the next course of action. No, this post is instead about something very important.


As I was checking out fellow bloggers blogs, I stumbled upon a rather... interesting ad.

The ad in question, I thought, was a joke, or perhaps worded humorously, and so I clicked it. Imagine my glee when I discovered that it was not a joke, and it was an accurate description of the items being sold on the site.

Imagine the wave of joy and passion that swept through my quivering nerd body as my eyes met that site. Finally, after so much searching and questing, I had found the holiest of holy grails.


CANNED AIR


Sunday, October 10, 2010

THE ADVENTURES OF JIMMY NIKOLA: 9TH GENUFLECTION

[X] Mourn the loss of your body pillow.

Poor, poor Maido Misako. She was taken before her time. You will never forget the way she kept you warm at night ;_;.  You pick a flower from a small patch of dirt on the sidewalk and toss it onto her torn, slightly stained maido face. You reflect in a moment of silence, staring in the direction of the sun, lamenting the fact that it is not sunset, because damn, that would be perfect.




IN MEMORIAM:
MAIDO MISAKO (PILLOW EDITION)
20X0 - 20X0




Now that that is settled, you suck up your tears and wonder what to do next. Is it even worth it? You sob into your PINA COLACOLYPSE, lamenting the death of your beloved waifu pillow, lamenting the cruelty of the world, and lamenting that you are not drowning your sorrows with something a bit more somber. Senor Pina, the rad sunglass-wearing pineapple mocks you with his extreme visage.


"Go away, fruit. I want to be alone." You toss the empty can into a dumpster.

Okay, enough melodrama. Let's figure out what to do now.


You drag yourself to your feet and continue on towards the mall. You decide to multi-task, and open F.O.R.T.U.N.E while you are walking.

/ {a} {b} {v} {x} {co} {tg} {ck} {k} {fit} {beta} {jp} /

F.O.R.T.U.N.E.
{X} - GOASTS

Tesla!CoilpuFjLo   Fri, Oct 1 20X0 11:09 Post. 5961352

Zombies just ate my Maido Misako pillow. My poor waifu ;_; She didn't deserve that. Anybody else lose something or somebody very important to them? Also, I saw an orange zombie. It was crazy fast. A lot faster than normal zombies, or even normal people. It was like the Vin Diesel of zombies or something. Anybody else seen one of those? 



ResidentZombologist!bR4INS63rM Fri, Oct 1 20X0 11:10 Post. 5961358

Your pillow? That's uh... okay. Anyways, the orange ones, yeah. Okay, so those guys are very fast, and they can climb pretty well too. They  are called "Blitzers." That's the name I have given them, yes. They move extremely quickly, and are very aggressive. They aren't that smart though, they seem to rely more on sight than anything else.

There is the regular zombie, which is slow, hard to kill (although you don't have to only attack the head. It seems like if you do enough damage to their organs, they go down as well. They are just very resilient, is all.) and incredibly strong. On their own, they are not hard to dispatch or avoid, but in groups, they are a moving wall of death, and are capable of frenzy once blood has been spilled.

Other Strange zombies exist, and they all seem to have a color aura, which is odd. There are purple zombies, who can stretch their arms out like some sort of tentacle/grappling hook batman zombie thing. I have more information on other zombies, but I can't post it at the moment, I have to get moving. They've broken through my first barricade and I must abscond to higher ground. I shall return, friends.

Interesting. You bookmark the thread to check later. For now... oh my...

The road ahead is blocked by a huge 20-car pileup. If you want to get through, you are going to have to either backtrack and find a different street, or head through one of the buildings next to you. 

Hmm...

[]Turn around and find another cross-street.
[]Go through a building
[]Try to climb through the wreckage
[]Genuflect